Daily Archives: December 4, 2007

What’s In Your Name: Crumpler, Procter, Hood, Body

To commemorate just over 5,000 hits on Sitting Pugs, I thought I would bring you something somewhat completely random concerning the last names of NFL players. Could there be any more men whose last name is Jones or Williams playing professional football?

Steelers linebacker Larry Foote (left) and wide receiver Santonio Holmes (right).

 

PE teachers have a habit of referring to students by their last name. Let’s take a look at the 2007 season and pretend we’re in gym class, listening to these names during roll call. I singled out these names not because I think they’re “funny” in and of themselves. I included them because they are real words (or nearly real words, give or take a letter), or I can only begin to imagine what sorts of mean jokes they might’ve inspired when puberty hit. Ball. Breaston. Gross.


I’ll start with the teams I like and then proceed with teams in the NFC and then the AFC.

Atlanta Falcons: Crocker, Crumpler, Forney, Horn, Irons, Leftwich, Schneck, Stone, Weiner; Weems (practice squad)

Dallas Cowboys: Barber, Canty, Carpenter, Colombo, Folk, Free, Hatcher, Ladouceur (La = the; douce = sweet ‘feminine’); Oglesby, Procter, Stanback; Ball, Butler, Long (all practice squad)

Pittsburgh Steelers: Batch, Colon, Foote, Gay, Woodley; Baker, McBean (both practice squad)

NFC Teams

Arizona Cardinals: Berry, Blackstock, Branch, Breaston, Hood, Pace, Pope, Rackers, Rector, Shipp, Urban; Baker (practice squad)

Carolina Panthers: Baker, Bridges, Curry, Diggs, Gamble, Gross, Hangartner, Hoover, Peppers, Teal; Delhomme (“homme” is French for “man,” practice squad)

Chicago Bears: Beekman, Grossman, Hass, Polite; LeVoir (“voir” means “to see” in French), Mines, Pope (practice squad)

Detroit Lions: Backus, Bell, Cannon, Duckett, Fisher, Hicks, Woody; Bullocks (injured reserve); Body (practice squad)

Green Bay Packers: Bigby (first name Atari), Rouse, Hawk, Poppinga, Bishop, Hunter, Spitz, Colledge, Moll, Pickett, Driver, Franks, Jolly; Holiday (injured reserve)

Minnesota Vikings: Cook, Farwell, Hicks, Longwell, Mills, Rice, Sharper, Wade,

New Orleans Saints: Boykin, Bullocks, Bushrod, Copper, Craft, Houser, Lake, Stinchcomb, Strief; Duckworth, Savage (practice squad)

New York Giants: Boothe, Butler, Feagles, Hedgecock, Koets, McQuarters, Snee, Toomer, Tuck, Whimper; Bake (injured reserve); London, Mix, Pope (practice squad)

Philadelphia Eagles: Avant (means “before/in front of” in French), Baskett, Buckhalter, Hunt, Justice, Reed, Sheppard, Spikes,

San Francisco 49ers: Battle, Fields, Gore, Hicks, Lelie, Nedney, Roman, Smiley; Bing and Duckett (both practice squad); Brewer (injured reserve)

Seattle Seahawks: Ashworth, Green (Howard and Mike), Herring, Plackemeier, Stutz, Tapp, Weaver, Wrotto; Moats (injured reserve)

St. Louis Rams: Bulger, Draft, Glover, Hill, Incognito, Little, Looker, Minor; Fry (practice squad)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Barber, Bidwell, Hovan, June, Sears, Trotter, Trueblood; Cash, Petitgout (“small taste” in French) (injured reserve)

Washington Redskins: Blades, Fox, Frost, Moss, Sellers, Smoot, Spring, Thrash


AFC Teams

Baltimore Ravens: Figurs, Grubbs, Heap, Ivy, Koch, Mason, Prude, Sapp, Stills, Stover, Winborne

Buffalo Bills: Butler (Brad and Jerametrius), Chambers, Dockery, Lynch, McCargo, Moorman, Parrish, Royal, Tripplett, Wire, Youboty; Fox, Mace, Watts (practice squad); Price (injured reserve)

Cincinnati Bengals: Busing, Coats, Geathers, Green, Kelly; Cook, Livings (practice squad)

Cleveland Browns: Cribbs, Holly, Jurevicius, Peek, Pool, Steinbach; Steptoe (practice squad)

Denver Broncos: Bell, Crowder, Cutler, Gold, Green, Holland, Leach, Lynch, Mustard, Pears, Rice, Sapp, Winborn; Hackney (practice squad)

Houston Texans: Butler, Cook, Green, Leach, Pitts, Turk, Weary, Weaver; Abbate, Barber, Earl, Killings (injured reserve)

Indianapolis Colts: Brackett, Bulitt, Charleston, Diem, Freeney, Hagler, Klecko, Pitcock, Rushing, Saturday, Session, Snow; Betts, Toudouze (“douze” is twelve in French, practice squad)

Jacksonville Jaguars: Cousin, Fudge, Knight, Meester, Pashos, Spicer, Toefield; Curry and Mincey (practice squad)

Kansas City Chiefs: Bell, Fox, Hail, Law, Page, Parker, Sapp, Thigpen, Waters, Webb; Stallings (practice squad); Price (injured reserve)

Miami Dolphins: Feely, Fields, Lemon, Booker (Lorenzo and Marty), Hill, Cobbs, Crowder, Porter, Pope, Hadnot, Moses, Peelie, Holliday; Bell, Dukes, Green, Page (reserves); Love (practice squad)

New England Patriots: Baker, Gay, Green, Light, Mankins, Meriweather, Mixon, Rivers, Woods

New York Jets: Baker, Bender, Brown, Dearth, Graham, Hicks, Mangold, Poteat,

Oakland Raiders: Condo, Culpepper, Curry, Gallery, Green, Grove, Huff, Sapp

San Diego Chargers: Chambers, Florence, Gates, Jammer, Rivers, Waters; Battle, Roach (practice squad); Gross, Polk, Race (injured reserve)

Tennessee Titans: Bell, Brown (Chris and Tony), Cain, Cramer, Fisher, Fuller, Gardner, Hall, Hill, Hope, King, Laboy, Moulds, Odom, Roos, Troupe, White, Young; Allred (practice squad)

Does every NFL team have a player whose last name is “Davis”? Half, I think.

Atlanta: defensive end Chauncey Davis

Dallas: safety Keith Davis

Pittsburgh: fullback Carey Davis

NFC Teams

Arizona: Billy Davis, linebackers coach

Carolina: linebacker Thomas Davis, practice squad corner back Tanard Davis; reserve non-football injury wide receiver Josh Davis

Chicago: wide receiver Rashied Davis

Denver: none

Detroit: injured reserve guard Frank Davis; linebacker Buster Davis (practice squad)

Green Bay: long snapper Rob Davis

Minnesota: none

New Orleans: none

New York G: defensive tackle Russell Davis

Philadelphia: fullback Jason Davis (practice squad)

San Francisco: tight end Vernon Davis

Seattle: none

St. Louis: none

Tampa Bay: corner back Sammy Davis, offensive tackle Anthony Davis

Washington: none

AFC Teams

Baltimore: none

Buffalo: none

Cincinnati: none

Cleveland: linebacker Andra Davis; defensive end A.J. Davis (practice squad)

Houston: wide receiver Andre Davis

Indianapolis: none

Jacksonville: none

Kansas City: none

Miami: assistant offensive coach Tim Davis

New England: assistant strength and conditioning Don Davis

New York J: wide receiver Chris Davis

Oakland: none

San Diego: wide receiver Craig Davis

Tennessee: wide receiver Chris Davis

 

 

 

Pic cred: google image search