NFC Wildcard 2009: Eagles flatline the Vikings

Justin Four. The second 2009 AFC wildcard game was towed in by the Baltimore Ravens. They beat the Miami Dolphins 27 to 9 (on CBS) and will go up against the Tennessee Titans next week for the divisional crown (unless I hallucinated this bit of info when I was watching the Fox pre-game show). Click here for details. As for the NFC? The Philadelphia Eagles slugged over to the frontal cortex of the Minnesota Vikings. Broadcast on Fox, the first quarter began with the Eagles on offense. Three minutes later, the Vikings took to offense then gave the ball back to the Eagles. Wide receiver DeSean Jackson returned the punt for sixty-two yards. A few plays later, kicker David Akers flung up a forty-three yard field goal. Rinsed and repeated (for fifty-one yards) at the bottom of the quarter. Philadelphia 6 and Minnesota 0.

The second quarter burst out with a forty-yard touchdown by Vikings running back Adrian Peterson. Minnesota 7 and Philadelphia 6. The Eagles’ third field goal put them back on top, 9 to 7. A powdery dust of the white stuff later, Vikings quarterback Tavaris Jackson threw an interception. Eagles cornerback Asante Samuel made the snatch for a TD. Philadelphia 16 and Minnesota 7. Woohoo! Attendez! Were the Nordic ones going to back down? Jamais. Adrian Peterson got his two femurs into the end zone in the pit of the quarter. A sneeze afterwards, Vikings cornerback Cedric Griffin stole the pass Donovan McNabb targeted at wide receiver Kevin Curtis. Going into halftime, Philadelphia 16 and Minnesota 14.

The third quarter started off with Vikings tight end Jim Kleinsasser making a couple strides down into the Eagles’ nest. I wonder how long it took for Kleinsasser to learn how to spell his last name. Man, man, man. Vikings defensive end Jared Allen knocked the ball out of McNabb’s grip with about a minute left in the quarter. Defensive tackle Fred Evans lunged after the ball.

The fourth quarter ticktocked down to 6.5 minutes when Eagles running back Brian Westbrook made a seventy-one yard mad dash into the end zone. Philadelphia 23 and Minnesota 14. Fanks the gourd. The Vikings still had time to do some rhythmic gymnmathematics, but then Eagles defensive end Juqua Parker recovered a poorly snapped ball with under three minutes on the clock. Anything you’d have done, I’m gonna do betta. Boiling down to around two minutes, the Eagles nudged up their numbers with a field goal. Enfin, beating Minnesota 26 to 14, the Eagles are off to shoot bottle caps with the New York Giants for the NFC divisional game next week.

Observations & Miscellania:

1. Joe Buck and Troy Aikman were the commentators. The more of Joe Buck that I see, the more I think he looks like a sixth grade science teacher. The words “igneous,” “proton” and “asthenosphere” could come rolling out of his mouth…and convincingly.

2. Kevin Curtis was sporting a moustache. I’m not a fan of facial hair but he still looks marvelous.

3. The first half undoubtedly demonstrated that both teams were full of intensity and “know-how,” but all of their effort paid off in table spoons rather than buckets. Yes, DeSean Jackson plucked Tavaris Jackson’s ball out of its trajectory and Adrian Peterson got to the end zone twice, and yet….

4. Taylor Hicks apparently sang the national anthem before the game started tonight. I missed it or it wasn’t televised.

Get game summary, stats, and play-by-play here.

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