Just like the subject says.
I had near-death experience numero two today. Oh, I’ve not shared the first one. It happened a week ago; rather than get into the details, I’ll just say that a force greater than my own conscious mind was compelling me to participate in a series of actions that would’ve been most unwise. I had never experienced such a detached loss of control prior to that moment.
This morning I decided to try licorice tea. Not a good idea.
Comparing the liquids that I have consumed since I was a toddler, tea was never high on the list. Between the ages of 365 days to twenty-five or twenty-six years, juice and milk have constituted the bulk of my liquid nourishment. I drank much more carbonated beverages when I was in junior high and high school than I did in college. My water intake has always been at a minimum, but I’ve improved upon that greatly in the last five years. Coffee and other espresso products were incorporated into my menu over ten years ago, when I was in high school. Intake has risen stupendously in the 21st century. But tea? I had sweet tea once in a while; I sipped it whenever going to a Chinese restaurant.
A lot of people cannot consume tea on an empty stomach, but I can. As of this morning, black teas and green teas sit with me well. Matcha mix for green tea lattes, however, are not welcomed–something I discovered last year. After a weekend of ingesting the equivalent of a venti (methinks), my throat began to feel tight. I could still breathe, but something wasn’t right. I’ve stayed away from green tea lattes from that day and have been fine.
Whale. Licorice tea appears to have a more severe adverse effect on me. I made a small cup of it this morning. After making jokes that it smelled like Pier 1 Imports, I took a sip and was thrilled that it didn’t taste like Pier 1 Imports. I liked the subtly sweet flavor. In the next fifteen minutes or so, while also drinking an iced latte, bottled water, and orange juice, I took two more sips–spaced minutes apart. And then my skull began to feel weird. The area between my eyes began to feel tingly. The sensation was reminiscent of but not identical to caffeine withdrawal and how my body reacts to MSG (my face goes numb and feels warm). It wasn’t unpleasant per se, just unfamiliar.
A couple hours later, it traveled to the top of my skull and then down to my cheeks, underneath my chin, and then to my throat. My breathing was fine, my heartbeat normal, and I did not have a headache. By lunchtime, I had observed that whenever I was up and walking around, I was pretty fine. I only experienced the kind of sore throat/neck that one would have from screaming along during a rock concert. The moment I sat back down, though, that unfamiliar sensation returned. I decided to go to Phipps to take a walk and maybe eat something.
And when I was so close to my destination, I nearly got into a car accident (not my fault). I was able to predict the other car’s lane-changing intentions in time to slow to a stop (in an intersection no less). Usually when I’m able to avoid collisions (my fault or not), my heart rate immediately increases as do levels of adrenaline and incidence of sweating, whereupon I typically channel my inner swashbuckler and scowl in the general direction of the car that was in the wrong. This time, I remember mild profanity and being agitated, but it wasn’t until I had parked and got out of my car did I realize something was really wrong. My heart was beating very fast and my hands and feet felt cold, numb, and tingly. I had to lean on a pillar in front of the door to catch my breath. After going up one set of escalators, my breathing had become very heavy. I leaned against another pillar because I was afraid I was just going to fall to the floor. A security guard happened to be there and asked me if I was all right.
He went up to the mall level with me; I phoned to be picked up and then sat on a bench. Two other guards came over to see how I was; the first guard stayed with me for about ten more minutes. After my breathing was less audible and he determined that I would be fine unsupervised (and I said I just needed to breathe), he told me that if I needed anything the info desk would call security for me. I think one of the guards went to the other side of the atrium to keep an eye on me.
I call this my second near-death experience not because I was clinically dead, but because I felt detached from my body in a manner similar to the first occurrence. Yet, simultaneously, I felt imprisoned by my body. My mom had called when I first sat down and when I flipped open the phone, I couldn’t hold it properly. My hand didn’t feel like it belonged to me. Poor blood circulation.
When I got home, I ate half a banana and had a chlorophyll mix drink (something I have to take after unknowingly consuming MSG). What have I learned today?
1. Yes, people can be allergic to tea, all kinds of tea.
2. I will never drink licorice tea again or consume “real” licorice candies.
3. As much as human beings and incompetent drivers still make me go “ugh!” I’ve broadened my “with the exceptions of….” range just a bit more.
4. Why any of this stuff happened is beside the point. It’s not like the windshield wipers incident, where I eventually recognized the value of the initial inconvenience. I’m just glad the security guard was there when I had gone up one set of escalators. I think it helped having him there as a tangible, external focal point.
Future me chiming in here: this post was originally written in 2009 but just a few years later, I developed an intolerance to liquid cow milk, an aversion to tea on an empty stomach, and matcha mix is a-okay. I still avoid licorice when possible.
GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING:Drinking milk and juice within close proximity can cause curdling
To be sure?
I’ve had milk (straight up milk) and orange juice before…when I was younger. I once even put the two together…it didn’t taste very good.
I’ve had lattes and juices in close proximity before with no negative repercussions…
how did that smiley get in there? perhaps the advent of starbucks has cured us of this problem….
“how did that smiley get in there?”
I thought you put it there on purpose! And then I read your words, looked up at the smiley face, and laughed for about three minutes straight. Audibly laughed too.
Well, Audibly always did have a good sense of humour.
Was she named after Audibly Hepburn?
How did you know?
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