Ponder these questions:
1. What do you find more difficult (personally): to start a conversation with a stranger or to end a conversation with an acquaintance?
2. If your house search is down to two contestants and both are facing your preferred cardinal direction, are geographically satisfactory, and have equally pleasing front and backyards, which house would you choose if the first house has a kitchen that needs renovating and the second has bathrooms that need renovating? If you’d need to save six months worth of salary to afford a renovation that fits your standards, would you be able to tolerate the sub-par kitchen or the sub-par bathrooms for half a year?
3. If you were stuck in an elevator with the Vice President for seventy-six hours, would you rather have an Odwalla bar, an Odwalla drink, or 2 liters of Evian spring water? Or, would you forgo all of those so that one of you could have a smart phone that was fully charged?
4. Before women’s lib, platonic love and romantic love were frequently mistaken for the other, while lust enjoyed a modicum of differentiation. Perhaps it wasn’t this way for the poor and the lower middle classes, but for the social elite, you couldn’t exactly be “friends” with a member of the opposite sex. You could be acquaintances; you could have a brother or cousin who acted as a stamp of approval for any kind of non-courtship relationship with a member of the opposite sex. But to have the kind of friendships straight men and women do in the 21st Century? Not so much.
So men and women who wanted to marry for love, were actually wanting to marry for romantic love? Intellectual attraction? Men and women who wanted a good match, in the worst case scenario married people with whom there was not even platonic love, and in the best case scenario they married someone who would otherwise just be a (really good) friend?
And yet, where does the 21st century get a person with these distinctions and social acceptance of non-courtship relationships with the opposite sex? Awkwardness and conflict of interests as many men still want lovers as friends…when before, they’d be thrilled to have friends as lovers.