I am on a bun! Two for the price of one.
Parody Numero Un:
My smart phone
has such a crappy battery,
When I’m home,
it’s charging dusk till morning.
It tells me it’s 100% full
but when I talk or text with it,
the level is near empty
What a pain, to carry chargers everywhere
Can’t they make a more dependable gadget
Imagine a pomme that I can count on
in emergencies and waiting rooms through dawn.
I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
I hate this phone, this pomme.
Parody Numero Deux:
Smart phone version, a new one every year
I’m getting tired of updating my gear
Then I see the new one’s no better than the last one
Helpless to protest this senselessness
Should I leave the brand that rhymes with “grapple”?
Rounded, flattened the makers choose to pander
to the mindless lowest denominator
Customize the headings?
No options in the settings!
Exasperation wafts like turpentine
Too high a price for flavor like bad wine.
— yiqi 19 april 2012 11:03 PM
These lyrical re-interpretations may be less obvious than the others I’ve posted here in the past. Click here and here for a musical reenactment. Note: I’m wearing a mouth guard and am not using my “natural” serenading voice.