I had forgotten the joy in my eyes that had once spun like a Kafkaesque top. I had misplaced the insouciant laughter where I once spent most of my days *not* chilling or relaxing outside of a school. For there were no couple of guys up to no good, they were certainly not making trouble in my neighborhood. I was not playing b-ball at all. I was calculating the physics of a projectile when you stepped into the target. Sparks flew with swift elegance and a wink. I emptied the lost-and-found of its contents; and huddled beneath the chiffon skirt and the corduroy jacket was the kiln for my forgotten joy. — January 2
Many wishes for many things,
some shiny, some obscene.
The witching hour smells like cedar trees,
painted with abdominal walls,
shrouded by reverie;
I stand before Shiva, arms raised
with nails the shape of marigolds.
They form a harem of deliverance,
prostrated before my god of interplanetary daydreams.
— yiqi 10 jan 2015 moments after the Patriots whooped the Ravens’ arse-bottoms 35 to 31.
I slipped back into the darkness, held hands with an old confidante. She hummed refrains of shimmering fuel, letting the sun go down on me. I assumed I’d betrayed my new confidants, that I’d lost their favor forever. Imagine my surprise, when my eyes closed, I was transported to the sky. Upside down, I hung, like Odin from Yggsdrasil. It was there I saw a red cardinal perched atop a tree, admonishing me for my ludicrous speed — love is not lost by retreating in the shadows. Making that assumption was just laughable. — January 13
I left the ghost of revelations past standing on the doorstep of the bowling alley. His cufflinks reflected a fierce precipice, off of which I stepped into caverns of the ghost of revelations future. Jostled and cradled, I finally landed right-side up in a potato wedge of fireflies, each brighter than the last. — February 24
When John Turturro screams in Barton Fink after realizing the woman in bed is dead, I feel that all is right with the world again. — March 28
Happiness is not an outcome. It’s a by-product.
It’s like steam or condensation.
Certain conditions come together but these conditions don’t last.
Let yourself feel happy even for 30 seconds. — March 31
Romeo and Juliet — does a textual analysis support the interpretation that Shakespeare does not believe pure love can exist in an imperfect world? — May 27
This is what sensory overload feels like. This is what invasion of psychological and physical space feels like….but you can’t stop yourself just by hoping your hand doesn’t get crushed between the edge of the bookcase and the ladder hurtling you towards it. It only stops if you can remove yourself from the ladder. — August 21
It’s not as simple as “why can’t we all just get along” anymore. It should be even simpler. Why can’t we stop trying to control other people’s choices? Is it because we’d all just be running (or hovering or electric-sliding) in place if everyone left each other to their own devices? oooo, pun kind-of intended. — September 20
If only one could donate one’s life to a greater cause. Eg, making sure polar bears never go hungry, elephants never have their tusks taken from them, orangutans don’t lose any more of their homes to the palm oil industry, honeybees stop getting sick, bald eagles’ numbers don’t plummet, wolves and bears keep thriving in their natural habitats, lions never have to die so someone can strike a pose, rhinos never have their horns taken from them. — September 23
Formal education does not teach you how to be human. If you’re lucky, your teachers will assign various media texts to be consumed and discussed (not necessarily tested). With these books, films, graphic novels, songs, podcasts, artworks, and other mixed media texts a person will begin to find what it “reads” or “watches” like to be in love, to be in agony, to be elated, to be betrayed, to save oneself, to save another, to deal with antagonists, to block out unsolicited stimulation.
On the one hand, a student’s non-school support system (family, friends, friends of family, etc) is supposed to instill such lessons. On the other hand, a student may not take a liking to what the parental units argue is the best way to handle all of life’s delights and disappointments. Let everyone you meet be a potential teacher. Let every media text you encounter be a potential life-changer. it is up to you to decide if you want more or less of what is offered. If you have the the freedom or luxury to do so that is. — October 23
I watched The Good Dinosaur yesterday and Creed today. Two movies that seem to have nothing in common, but they actually do. And as many fairy tales and folk tales construct the impetus for a protagonist’s journey, at least one or both parental units are absent. It has sure been a long time since I’ve seen sports training montage …. without football involved. — November 27
Good idea or bad idea: To shatter the “social construct” component of cisgendered norms and stereotypes, when a girl gets her period for the first time or a boy becomes aware of changing physiology, society should stop saying, “now, you’re a woman, now you’re a man,” and instead say, “now, you will be old enough to be charged as an adult should you purposefully inflict violence upon another living creature. And, you will no longer qualify for the child’s discount at restaurants, amusement parks, and movie theatres.”
It’s fine to emulate, explore, and to find yourself more drawn to the feminine vs the masculine archetypes at varying points and contexts in your life, but a twelve year-old girl whose body is ready to house a multi-cellular organism upon fertilization is no more a woman than a twelve year-old boy whose body is ready to go through literally the motions of furthering the species is a man.
In cultures where the child-to-adult rites of passage are important and even sacred, how do these ceremonies and transitional years of age teach the young person what it means to be older but not necessarily wiser? Stronger but not necessarily smarter? Should adults even have to abandon their inner child just because they are no longer in a single digit age? — December 13
I watched Star Wars today. People I’ve messaged were right — there is no good place to go to the restroom. I don’t remember having so much fun watching a movie in a long time. — December 24
I watched some of Daddy Long Legs (Jean Negulesco, 1957) on DVD on Thursday, the new Point Break on Friday, Carol yesterday and The Big Short today. Now I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone. — December 27