A few years ago I posted about a book called Insults & Comebacks, a collection of witticisms that bite and punch. They are hilarious and depending on one’s delivery, the lines could come off as just the right amount of dry humor:
“I’ve had a lot to drink, and you still don’t look good.”
“Just because you can’t smell it doesn’t mean the rest of us aren’t suffering.”
“We’ve taken a vote: you’re trying too hard.”
“You still think you can be anything you want–and get paid for it.”
“Your lack of experience is matched only be your surplus of ego.”
“Ignorance can be cured. Stupid is forever.”
“It’s not the technology–it’s you.”
Today, I came across this thread on Reddit about insults and found even more awesome ways of saying some unkind things that are funnier than they are plain mean.
Why are you playing so hard to get when you’re already hard to want?
You’re the dollar menu version of your father.
The only way for you to get laid is to crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait.
If you were any more inbred you’d be a sandwich.
You’re so ugly, your portraits hang themselves.