Daily Archives: September 16, 2020

Width by Height

“It’s too long, it won’t fit.”

“What do you mean ‘it won’t fit’?”

“I mean, the new quarterback’s last name is too long to fit on the back of the jersey.”


“And, the last I checked, players’ names are supposed to be on the back of the jerseys above their numbers.”

“And what are you going to do about it?”

“Can we use his first name and last initial?”

“Um, no.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s not how it goes.”

“Well, we can’t shorten his last name and his first name last initial fits just fine.”

“And what about the other players?”

“What about them?”

“What if they want their first name and last initials instead of their last names on their jersey?”

“Uhn, uhn.  Only the new QB gets that distinction, plus we have to do it.  It’s not special treatment.”

I contemplated this remark for a few moments and came to the decision that it would be worth a try.  The new quarterback’s last name is very long and none of the other players’ come close.  

“And if he don’t like it?”

“Then we can put his last name down the sides of his pant legs.”



It’s been quite a while since I’ve written any short prose here.