Tag Archives: Mark Sanchez

AFC Championship 2010: the Colts gargoyle the Jets

Winter mint vs. spear mint, which flavor shall represent the AFC in the Super Bowl?  Televised by CBS, with narration by Jim Nantz and Phil Simms, the Colts started on offense and had to punt the ball away three minutes into the game.  The Jets were able to get a field goal opportunity but kicker Jay Feely missed it.  When Colts quarterback Peyton Manning took his offensive players back on the field, he was sacked faster than one can say, “Thank you, sir, may I have another.”

The second quarter started with a Matt Stover field goal.  Indianapolis 3 and New York 0.   Jets wide receiver Braylon Edwards put his team on the board with a touchdown moments later (quarterback Mark Sanchez threw to him and eighty yards later, there was end zone).  The Colts were unable to get the ball to stay in the end zone.   Stover kicked another field goal.  The Jets upped the score with another TD, courtesy of tight end Dustin Keller.  New York 14 and Indianapolis 6.  Can the Jets defense be better than the Colts’ offense?  Can the Jets offense be better than the Colts offense?  The Jets got their hands on the ball after Peyton Manning gave the ball to running back Joseph Addai.  Jay Feely made his second FG attempt in the bottom of the second.  New York 17 and Indianapolis 6.  The Colts got their act together enough to make a TD before the end of the quarter, thanks to wide receiver Austin Collie.  New York 17 and Indianapolis 13.

The third quarter went off with a failed Jets FG attempt.  The Colts’ offense returned to the level of athleticism to which most of us are accustomed with a Pierre Garcon TD near the middle of the quarter.  Indianapolis 20 and New York 17.  The Colts increased their lead with a Peyton Manning TD throw to tight end Dallas Clark in the middle of the fourth quarter.  Indianapolis 27 and New York 17.  Matt Stover took the field for a twenty-one yard field goal with under three minutes left in the game.  Colts defensive back Kelvin Hayden intercepted Mark Sanchez with about two minutes left on the clock.  Indianapolis 30 and New York 17.  Final score.  The Indianapolis Colts go to the Super Bowl! Winter mint wins!

Watch me watching the first half of the game:

Observations & Miscellania:

1.  The Jets wore white jerseys and white pants.  Why did number 17 have his top bunched up to reveal hot cross bun abs?   The Colts wore blue jerseys and white pants.

2.  Jordin Sparks sang the National Anthem while US army soldiers held an unfurled flag across the field.  A bald eagle was released towards the end of the song.

3.  Due to heavy precipitation, the telecast was pixellated and stop-n-go.

4.  This game was also broadcast in Spanish (SAP button!)

5.  The bottom of the screen included a map of northern GA that was under a tornado watch.  There’s a Butts County in Georgia.  Something about that graphic made me want some pink lemonade really badly.

6.  After the Jets’ first TD of the day, a camera went to Peyton Manning sitting on the bench looking mauve-faced and very discontent.

7.  Tony Dungy was watching the game.

8.  Do you remember Exposé from the 80s?  As long as the stars shine down from the heavens.  As long as the rivers run to the sea.  I’ll never get over you getting over meSeasons changeLet me be the one to take you to the point of no returnWhat you don’t know is that the guys have to be blond and wear tight jeans too.

9.  Atlanta would like to host a World Cup even in 2018 or 2022?  Assuming the planet and humankind still remain.

10.  What was up with that red zone graphic at 8:50 in the fourth quarter?

11.  Matt Stover was born in 1968!  Holy hot bananas.  As Jim Nantz remarked in the bottom of the fourth quarter, Stover would be the oldest player ever to go to the Super Bowl.

12.  Jim Irsay, owner and CEO of the Colts, was shown in close-up on the Indianapolis sidelines.  One of his middle fingers had a bandaid over the tip.  I wonder what happened.  Did he cut himself chopping veggies?

Get game summary, stats, play-by-play here.

NFL 2009: Falcons ground the Jets

The Atlanta Falcons flew north to hang-glide on New York Jets’ thirty degree and 17mph wind territory.   Having started with a season full of possibilities, the Falcons have seen their season slip into uncertainty.  By the time they went up against the New Orleans Saints, running backs Jerious Norwood and Michael Turner, wide receiver Ben Finneran, and quarterback Matt Ryan had missed games due to injury.  Atlanta’s record was 6 – 7 going into today’s game.  Would Turner and Ryan’s reactivated status yield a victory for the Falcons?  They may be out of playoffs running, but a first ever back-to-back winning seasons is still up for grabs.

Televised by Fox, and narrated by Dick Stockton and Charles Davis, the first quarter began with the Falcons on offense without scoring.  A few plays into the Jets’ turn, Falcons safety Thomas DeCoud intercepted Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez.  The Jets’ defense allowed a Matt Bryant field goal for the Falcons in the middle of the first quarter.  Atlanta 3 and New York 0.  The Jets got on the scoreboard in the bottom of the quarter with sixty-five yard touchdown reception by wide receiver Braylon Edwards.  New York 7 and Atlanta 3.

Halfway through the second quarter, the Falcons defense was able to keep the Jets to a field goal attempt, which turned out to be a fake field goal attempt.  Falcons cornerback Brent Grimes was there to nix that option.  Moments later, Mark Sanchez threw a second interception towards the bottom of the quarter–Brent Grimes was on it.  The rest of the first half ticked down to three seconds and the Jets tried but failed at a real field goal.  New York 7 and Atlanta 3.

The third quarter saw the Jets performing well offensively and Jets running back Thomas Jones was flagged for unnecessary roughness for getting his hands on Falcons defensive end Kroy Biermann’s face mask (after the whistle had blown on a play).  Both teams’ defensive players have been doing much better than the other team’s and their own team’s offense.

Watch me eat seaweed during the commercial break before the fourth quarter started:

Matt Bryant missed a forty-eight yard field goal in the top of the fourth quarter.  The Jets had a chance to score three points nearing the bottom of the quarter, but Falcons defensive end Chauncey Davis blocked it.  The clock ticked down to under the two minutes and VERDANT VALENTINE VIXENS Falcons tight end Tony Gonzalez caught a TD pass just inside the end zone (and then used the uprights’ cross bar as a basketball hoop, dunking the ball behind it).  Three or four plays into the Jets’ last go on offense, Brent Grimes made another interception.  Atlanta 10 and New York 7.  Final score.

Observations & Miscellania:

1.  Mike Smith wore a Falcons beanie.  What a cutie-in-beanie.

2.  After glancing up from my laptop just before the third quarter began: “Did I just see cheerleaders wearing Santa skirts?”

3.  Michael Turner only played for half of the first quarter, if memory serves.

4.  The top of the fourth quarter began with a shot of a Jets-supporting Santa.

Get game summary, stats, and play-by-play here.


Attention all male readers, do you like cheeseburgers?  If you answered yes, do not consume these CB’s anymore.

Brittany Murphy has died from a heart attack?!

Classic film star Jennifer Jones passed away at age ninety on Thursday.

Finally, an explanation for cousins twice or thrice removed.

Rose Bowl 2009: USC maxes out Penn State

The ninety-fifth Rose Bowl game. Penn State Nittany Lions and USC Trojans. Would the Big 10 or Pac 10 get the last fragrant laugh? Broadcast on ABC, the Trojans marching band performed the national anthem before the game proper began. The first quarter ticked halfway through when USC quarterback Mark Sanchez fumbled the ball (never even threw it out of his hands) and Penn State recovered. Or did they? An offside penalty on Penn State gave the ball back to USC. A few plays later, Sanchez threw twenty-seven yards to wide receiver Damian Williams for a touchdown. USC 7 and Penn State 0. That catch came out of nowhere…in that one second USC’s QB was prepped to launch the ball and the next nanosecond, TD. With fewer than ten seconds left in the quarter, Penn Statequarterback Daryll Clark got himself into the end zone for a TD. Both teams 7.

The second quarter spritzed off with a Trojans TD, shoved in by the quarterback. USC 14 and Penn State 7. A Trojans field goal put USC higher up with 17 to 7 halfway through the quarter. USC’s lead shot up to 24 to 7 (thanks to wide receiver Ronald Johnson’s TD). Penn State’s running back Stephfon Green had a good chance of making great strides down field on his team’s next possession, but he fumbled and USC recovered. Trojans running back CJ Gable increased his team’s numbers by a TD in the bottom of the quarter. USC 31 and Penn State 7.

The third quarter spelled out CJ Gable fumbling the ball and Penn State cornerback Tony Davis getting his hands on it. No scoring resulted from that turnover. In the final forty or so seconds of the third quarter, Penn State wide receiver Jordan Norwood had caught Daryll Clark’s pass and then was immediately slammed by USC safety Taylor Mays. Norwood had to be helped off the field, noticeably discombobulated–his eyes looked like they were pinging all over place. Mays got a helmet-to-helmet penalty. Slow-motion instant replay revealed that Norwood’s head was essentially squashed by two Trojans torsos in the tackle.

The fourth quarter harked the herald with a TD for the Nittany Lions, courtesy of wide receiver Derrick Williams. Trojans wide receiver Ronald Johnson made his second TD of the day with a forty-five yard catch on his team’s next possession. USC 38 and Penn State 14. Halfway through the fourth quarter, Penn State’s numbers rose by three with a field goal, and then by seven in the bottom of the quarter (thanks to Jordan Norwood). USC 38 and Penn State 24. Final score. The Trojans have won the Rose noodle Bowl for the third time in a row.

Observations & Miscellania:

1. Brent Musberger and Kirk Herbstreit were the commentators.

2. Save for Trojans quarterback Mark Sanchez, the USC football players don’t get much news reading done. Who is Joe Biden, TMZ asked recently. Question: How many players in total were asked, “Who is Joe Biden?” and of those players, how many got it right and weren’t included in the final sequence that hit the air?

3. Steve Shaw, of the SEC, was the referee. The Grand Marshal of the 2009 Tournament of the Roses was Cloris Leachman. She threw the coin. USC won the toss and deferred to second half. Cloris Leachman looks like Glenn Close a wee bit.

4. The Trojans’ uniforms made me think of barbecue sauce, mustard, and sloppy joes.

5. As neither a Trojans nor Nittany Lion fan, viewing consisted of soaking up game-play athleticism. Point. Counter-point. Check. Checkmate.

6. Actor John C. McGinley was in attendance. He had a full head of hair and a green shirt.

7. The Trojans marching band hit the field during halftime.

8. Did Brent Musburger say in the bottom of the fourth quarter that the QB plays a more important role in college football than in pro football?

Get game summary, stats, and play-by-play here.